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stunning ….

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It is actually unbelievable to me that this is the last week that I am going to live in the little house that I love .  I am feeling very uncertain – unsettled- uneasy – un everything  and up everything , up rooted , up ended , I am wishing for it to all be over but grasping at every single moment that I have left , savoring my comfy worn out couch that now serves as bed, dining chair, reading and cuddling with lilymydog area- the last piece of furniture in my house with the exception of  a few straight back chairs that will be gone tomorrow …my books are gone, my photos gone, my letters, my desk, my bed, my table…outdoor furniture serves as my table and chairs,  the bills are paid, auto payments ended, disconnections ordered, car serviced, clothes ready to pack ….my most precious possessions still near at hand , love letters, photos of my parents, my camera, my art supplies, my journals and my most cherished books….the wax monkey of my youth still looks on in disbelieving silence , if only he would have told me years ago what I should keep and what I should let go …I am stunned into silence, today has been a very quiet day . A day of reflection and remembrance – how quickly it passes away and how unexpected it can be …” On My Path” my locket says and as I look forward to time with my dear friends on the Oregon coast I hope that this is true and that my light will illuminate my way . I have not ever been so terrified but then pass through times of determination with glimpses of excitement and thoughts of possibility. I understand that I have been holding onto the pier for so long and it is time for me to swim all on my own to my own destination, to my own way of being in the world and I understand that as Dorothy said ” there is no place like home “  but that home is inside my heart after all and it will be there no matter where I am.

3 Comments (Add Yours)

  1. I adore you and am holding you in my heart throughout this time of change (and evermore).

  2. standing with you, arms outstretched, loving.

  3. and i love seeing your flute music out like that ~ wish you would have brought it to oregon!

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